Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
