I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
