I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
