I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
