No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
bring money and cleavage
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
