An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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