would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
