Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
