His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
