so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
