Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Randomize
