It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
