brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
