i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Who died my cat blue again?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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