I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
