CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
