I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
