I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
