Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
