So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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