Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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