On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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