i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
