would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
