Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
