i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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