don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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