I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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