Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
