dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
