is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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