the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
