I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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