Already got asked if we're dating
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
