is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I love having hate sex.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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