a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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