just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
