3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize