why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
