Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
