I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
