so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
