Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I wear drunk well.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
