My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In other news, I just burned my penis
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
