There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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