Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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