eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
