Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
