So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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