if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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