he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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